By Vince Van Patten
New York morning
While recently in New York City over the summer, I had a bitch of a morning.
I woke up at 7 AM, groggy, body aching, and slow to start but that’s my norm before I get my morning kick. In only sweats and yesterday’s T-shirt I quickly slipped on my ugly, black loafer sketchers , that I always bring on the road for times like these: the “before washing, walking dead, looking for my damn caffeine ritual.”
Down the elevator, through the lobby, my eyes peered to the right toward the fancy open cafe with the snooty maître d’, taking names to escort hotel patrons to their white table topped tables.
Oh, not for me! I wisely knew that was an automatic 12-minute wait to even sip on my first, severely hot, fancy cup of Joe for 8 bucks a pop!
I scurried out the revolving glass door into the New York City Street where I knew I could find a quick strong cup of brew within feet almost anywhere for a lot less, and a lot less hassle. My childhood Long Island street smarts were in full gear now and I smiled to myself knowingly.
I thought of the poet/actor, Charlie Sheen – “winner!”
Just 50 steps away, I spotted it. A sleek looking, trendy, German coffee shop. I walked in and there was a small line of five or six people waiting to order coffee behind a clean glass pastry board. There were four or five intense workers doing various jobs serving coffee and taking orders. I got in line.
Within seconds, I was giving my order to a young New Yorker who seemed to have a slight, strange, German accent. I told him I wanted a large coffee, with a double espresso on the side. He nodded and politely said ‘ya’ then he quickly rang up my bill.
When I took out my cash to pay, he surprised me with “But no sir, ve don’t take cash here.”
Ok, strike one. I smiled, then took out, and paid it with my one and only credit card. I think he mumbled “Danke” as I walked away.
I moved off to the side to wait for my number, or name, or anything to be called. I needed my much-desired coffee fix and I needed it now.
The place was getting more crowded now, and the line was getting pretty big, with people waiting anxiously for their orders and also trying to make orders. I huddled closer to the pack of waiting customers on the left side, not wanting to lose my place.
Six long minutes must’ve gone by. Finally, a worker spoke up, and I was pretty sure he said, “coffee, double espresso!”
I took a shot. It was mine, and before anyone else could take it, I grabbed it and worked my way through the crowd to an emptier part of the room, where I happily anticipated my first well-needed sip. I found a huge stool and a small spot by the window. “Very nice,” I thought. I was all set, but then a shot of panic ran through my body. I realized I hadn’t put my cream and sugar in yet! A total disaster.
My eyes darted around the room to look for the usual condiments table. But after a few seconds, I realized, there was no such thing in this room! No milk or coffee or sugar tables to be had!
“Unusual,” I thought. I looked back at the line and now there were 30 people waiting in the pack, and I couldn’t dare go back in there to try and grab anybody’s attention. On the right side counter I saw a young woman coffee worker counting the pastries.
I blurted out, “Scuze me!! Where do I get cream for my coffee?”
My raised and panicked voice got a few looks from the patrons. I didn’t care.
She looked up, slightly annoyed from her pastry counting, and said to me in a faint German accent.
“No sir, ve don’t do dat here . You haf to order upfront if you vant cream!”
Strike two, I thought to myself!
Ok. I looked at the area where I received my coffee earlier. At this point it was mobbed. It would be impossible for me to get back in there and ask for cream. The caffeine mob would never have it. A move like this could have scalding coffee on me in seconds .
I decided I’d have to go hardcore. Drink it black.
I took my first sip of the dark coffee. Wow, it did taste good, and strong, however, why do it?
I paid my money. I laid my credit card down. Why deny myself? I like cream in my coffee. I deserved my damn cream in my coffee!
Thinking quick I looked outside. Across the street was a Chinese convenience store. It was for fast food and groceries and quick tasty meals. I had gone there a few times already in the last few days. It wasn’t half bad, and it was quick! I could borrow some cream there! And they kind of knew me! I bustled out the door holding my hot coffee and espresso using both hands. I crossed the street and entered the Chinese convenience store smiling knowingly. Never thinking my morning was going to get a lot worse.
End of part one
To be continued on the next blog!