By Vince Van Patten
I’ve been driving luxurious cars for years. I love to drive, especially road trips. My favorite road trip of all…Las Vegas!
Not to brag, but I’ve had Jaguars, Audis, BMWs, Cadillac convertibles, and fancy sedans as well. But now my lease is finally up for my Audi and in the last couple of months, I’ve been forced to think about a new car.
Well, guess what? I bought a truck!
That’s right. A Chevy Colorado black pickup truck 2021! And you know what? I realize after decades of driving, I’m really just a truck guy!
Who knew after years on the road of driving sports cars, German cars, and slick sedans, a pickup truck is what I was missing?!
And I’m loving it! WHY? Here are a few of the reasons.
Number one: No one messes with the truck guy!
No one has the gall to flip off a truck guy. He/she is an unknown quantity, especially if I wear my creepy bandana which I do and in these crazy days of road rage, that’s a tremendous advantage!
Sure I’ll admit, maybe the truck guy doesn’t get invited to many dinner parties, won’t be considered the smartest guy in the room perhaps but I never liked dinner parties anyway! You can have your kale and eat it too! I eat fast food in the truck and watch sunsets or lights turn green – whatever!
Anyway, other things I love about being the truck guy:
I love sticking the old fashion key in the ignition unlike the mysterious auto start from my snazzy Audi, where the key can be anywhere in the vehicle and that car will start. One time, I didn’t know where my key was but the car was still running…very confusing.
Also, I love the fact that I can actually touch the console in front of me and change the radio stations, air temp, etc. unlike my Audi, which was a non-touchscreen and tricky to figure out.
Also, my fancy Audi had this weird button that when you stopped at a light, the engine automatically turns off, completely feels like the car has just broken down, and to save a few seconds worth of gas they tell me? Nonsense, and unnecessary if you ask me!
Not to mention the Audi auto lock!!! Infuriating! You can’t get into the car on the other side or any door just when you want to. It’s locked me out an average of 15 times a year!
Oh, then there’s the fact that with the Chevy truck you don’t have to put your foot on the brake to start the engine as well, unlike so many of the new expensive auto/ trucks. Proving that once again, change to just change doesn’t always amount to improvement!
There are other things, believe me, that I’m discovering and enjoying about my Chevy truck every day.
For instance the social aspect about it.
There is somehow a mutual bond, certain respect perhaps when you see another pickup truck driver stopped at a light. Truck owners are not afraid to glance over and lock eyes, give each other eye contact, maybe a macho nod (ok I did get a middle finger once but he was probably just having a bad day).
But usually, it’s friendly, a certain “connection” like long-lost brothers.
Then there is the new car/ truck smell that everyone loves!
My new car/truck smell is fantastic! The combination of chemicals, fresh leathers, brand new wires, and a touch of Hulk Hogan’s body odor after his last fight permeates the cabin.
Also, I like to dream about the fun purchase possibilities in the days and weeks ahead!
I can’t wait to get a cabin cover, a rubber bed perhaps, and of course, dark tinted windows!
How tinted? Dark enough Dolly Parton could ride shotgun without getting recognized, how about that?!
But let’s talk about the four-wheel-drive! I’ll enjoy that the most! It’s true I’ve never had any kind of four-wheel-drive before, and I hardly know how to use it, but I’m going to learn quickly. I’ll go through rocks, sand, sleet, rain, and snow, you name it! I’m going to test myself and my new toy to the max!
And it’s true I’m currently looking at vintage dirt bikes, Jet skis, airstreams, and who knows what else to purchase! Call it a midlife crisis, (even though I’m a bit past that). Call it whatever you want but I’m having fun! Bottom line, I love this truck! And it’s good to be the truck guy, maybe you can relate.
Till next time play loose and bluff on the river!