By Vince Van Patten
Here’s a little list of what I believe, should come back because they were terrific! And no longer around! Or at all!
Also, a list of things that are here today, and in my opinion, annoying and overrated, and should go away!
Some of these things will date me and prove to you that I’m cranky and that I’m officially the man that wants you to stay the f*ck off his lawn. Other people might agree with me and reminisce. Check it out.
Things that should come back!
Drive-in movies. They were great fun! Millennials, you missed it! Nothing like sneaking an extra friend hiding in the trunk, LOL!
Big American cars and convertibles. That’s when driving a car was an experience, the best!
Kids riding bikes in their neighborhood. That doesn’t happen now. Now, grown men in Italian biking outfits have all the fun down the highways. How did this flip flop?
People working on their own cars. I love the smell of car oils in the morning. Of course, I never did it but I had buddies that did, and I was secretly envious.
Roller skating /blading /disco blading /most fun fad ever! (1975-1986) RIP you can still find me though at Venice Beach in very tight shorts on occasion, haha
Home cooked meal for the whole family. ( We were lucky enough to do it growing up back in the day) Fantastic! No cell phones/maybe some conversation/always some pent up anger from some family member. Classic!
Solid handshakes instead of fist bumps! No ones getting sicker with germs because of shaking hands, let’s get over it! Back to the firm shake, please.
Being able to table talk more at the poker tables. So many rules now saying what you can’t do. This took the talent (and fun) of table talking out of the game!
Having cash play at the poker table! I know the reasons why they don’t want it, I get it. But it was just better! Stacks of C-notes casually placed behind your chips…priceless
Variety shows on tv! Ed Sullivan – they used to show a variety of different entertainment in a one-hour show! Much better than now! Variety makes a mind curious. Also, you might see the Beatles.
Don Rickles. A genius comedian! He could hilariously insult everybody and nobody seemed to mind! He was the best…period! Lighten up everyone, we’re all fools!
The horse races. It’s a fantastic sport! Doesn’t draw anymore! In Europe it still does, wish we could figure that out here! I miss losing thousands betting on “Eddie the Hat’s” sure thing!
Okay, those were just a few to get to know who I am better. There are many more which I will save for another time.
Things that should go away!
Community tables at restaurants! What a colossal trendy flop this is. Yeah, that’s a lot of fun. Squeezing in at some table with a bunch of STRANGERS while everyone overhears your conversations. Do you know what you’ll never hear anyone ever say?
“No, forget the lovely booth in the corner, we’d prefer the wooden bench at that picnic table right next to the Charlie Manson lookalike.” That’s right, get rid of community tables!
Hotel showers that that spray you from every stupid angle! That’s right, it’s awful! Just give me an old fashioned angle in the front two feet over my head and have the shower force be strong, please!
Overdoing TEXTING and never picking up a phone call or even listening to a message. One step forward, two steps backward people!
Restroom attendants! God bless them. Has anyone ever been excited to see an attendant when walking in to do their business? Hell no! Get rid of them and turn up the stinking music in there. It helps.
Companies that don’t pick up the phone. They make you do all the work. Then finally, if you’re really lucky, a real person, an actual human being, seemingly picks up the phone. Not a fan, communication is essential!
Restaurants that call you wanting YOU to call THEM BACK about your reservation. Wait, I already made my reservation! Why are you bothering me to reconfirm something I already know? STOP IT PLEASE!
Having your server not serve you the course. The new stranger server serves it. Just weird. They’re doing that a lot now, in case you haven’t noticed.
At least four or five AWARD SHOWS throughout the year .. don’t get me started! Unless we’re talking about awards about TRUE HEROES! Police, fire people, nurses, doctors, scientists, lifeguards, paramedics, teachers, etc. to name a few. They deserve extra attention and a new, cool awards show. Yes! I’m not interested in more awards for entertainers and athletes! They get enough royal treatment.
All politics from talk show hosts! EITHER SIDE! Or at least do sparingly, not every night! It’s obvious and usually unfunny.
THE MAN BUN. Guys, didn’t we get the memo yet? Aw hell, maybe it does look good! Don’t hate me if I try it.
Okay, so you have it. I hope you’ve enjoyed my thoughts on the world today. Maybe you disagree, maybe you agree, all in good fun!
Until next time play loose and bluff on the river!